My Future Career
My Future Career
All my life I wanted to become a doctor. I remember when I was younger I would dress up as a doctor for Halloween and play doctor with my friends. Since then, it has always been my dream to become a healthcare worker. However, as I grew up, I had the chance to learn more about different professions in the medical field. Right now, I am really interested in surgery. I think this profession is made for me for multiple reasons.
First, one of the reasons I want to do this job is because I would like to work with people. I love having coworkers and being able to interact with one another. This job brings you to work with a lot of different people. You work with other doctors, you see patients, you are always in contact with other people and I think that is amazing. Also, another incredible element about this profession is that you have the chance and the ability to help people and I genuinely think this is the most delightful part of this job. I can't imagine what it is like to lose someone you love, but I suppose it is one of the hardest moment someone has to go through and doctors have the capacity to help and to make a difference.
This profession is exciting for me because it is a field where you always continue to learn. I have heard that even when your studies are done you still have training and conferences where you develop your knowledge. It is different every single day and I think that this is what makes this profession fantastic. Moreover, in secondary 3 we had a part of our science class that was dedicated to biology. In this class, we learned more about how the human body works. For example, we learned how the digestive system works and that was so interesting so I can not wait to learn more about the human body.
I specified that I would like to become a surgeon. Right now this is the field that interests me the most. I feel like as a surgeon you have the chance to impact directly the life of a patient. You have the ability to change his life on the spot by what you are doing. That is the main reason I would like to become a surgeon. Of course, this can always change, but for now, my goal is to become a physician to work with others, to be able to help and save people, and to have a job where you learn every day. My goal is to get into medical school and I hope I will achieve it.
UMHS, 15 different types of Surgeons with an Allopathic medicine or Osteopathy degree, (site consulted on September 17th), [online], https://www.umhs-sk.org/blog/types-of-surgeons
Hey Noemie. It's really nice to see that you've been convinced this is the field for you ever since you were young. Such passion and dedication will help you along the way for sure. I love your focus on the interpersonal side of medicine. Is there anything that particularly got you attracted to surgery ? It'd be nice to had a little something about that specifically in your blog post ! Other than that, real nice work.
RépondreSupprimerThank you for your constructive and kind comment. I will definitely add the reasons why I would love to become a surgeon. Thank you for the idea!
SupprimerI really enjoyed reading you and getting to know you a little more, Noémie! Your post meets with all the requirements, and even more! Keep up your excellent work.
RépondreSupprimerElements to review:
- review the use of commas in general
- level of language (kid) "when I was a little kid"
- reformulate (act as a doctor with my friends as a game): play doctor with my friends.
- punctuation error ([...] is because I would like to work with people, I love [...])
- These two sentences should be together: You work with other doctors, you see patients. You are always in contact with other people and I think that is amazing.
- try to use stronger vocabulary (nicest) "[...]this is the nicest part of this job."
- plural (study) [...] when your study is done [...]. Do not forget to make sure that your verb and your subject agree together once you change this noun into a plural noun.
- Gallicism (formations): [...] you still have formations [...]
- You often use the word 'things'. Try to vary your vocabulary :)
- verb tense (learn): For example, we learn how the digestive [...]
- subject-verb agreement (work): [...] how the digestive system work, and [...]
- I would remove this first sentence and add the rest of the paragraph to your paragraph above on why you want to be a surgeon: "As I mentioned in this text, I would like to become a surgeon. Of course, [....]"